There are times when I wonder when will people stop betraying each other.... Its like someone suffers a betrayal every few hours and no one does anything about it.
This is far from recent but it has been on my mind recently. I'm a twenty-something... I plan on having children one day. I would really like to have a daughter that I could pass things down to. When I met him I had been keeping a diary of thoughts, feelings and experiences from different times in my life. What better way to get through to a child than to hand them the proof that you aren't god. I started a new one when i went to college... He actually bought it for me. I recorded everything in it, the fights, triumphs, when He proposed.... It was my life. I wanted to be able to tell my kids that sometimes the good just happens.
Then we got into a fight. not a major one... but a fight none the less.... I wouldn't tell him whats wrong.... He saw me writing in my diary. Anyone and everyone knows that people that keep journals of any kind are people that either don't like confrontation or feel that they need to sort things out first. And any younger brother knows that you do NOT read a girls diary, on threat of painful death. So what does my now husband do when I leave for work the following morning.... HE READS MY DIARY.... swears it was just the last page to find out what I was mad about...

Can I trust him?
Will he do it again?
Did I join an emotional dictatorship?
Do I get to have secrets?
Can I snoop through his stuff without reprisals?
Is anything sacred to him?

He played the caring card... that he just wanted to know what was wrong so that he could fix it.


I wonder if he put the pieces together that I stopped demanding sex twice a day right after that. I'm not sure that I am in the right place to be continually physically active with a person that I cannot trust to stay out of my things.... private cherished personal things.

I have stopped using the diary since its sanctity has been desecrated. I'm just a little disappointed that he didn't have more respect for me than that.