Easter Crisis

Its just a day... just an ordinary day....

Yeah right.

So about two months ago, i got a text from my mentor. it simply said that my church needed me... and that my singing talents were being requested for the church choir. So I caved. I joined the choir for the Easter season. Content to sit with my mentor three times a week and have some time to examine my faith without it seeming odd.

Today was Easter for those that celebrate it. My heart wasn't in today. It was trapped somewhere in an abyss... floating in a murky green-brown sludge that has ruled my current months.
So many things are changing so fast:
*HE has been given an interview for a job that will move us 2.5 hours from both families.
*We have decided to let nature take its course and stop using birth control... (we are married and pretty much financially stable)
*Jules' man left three weeks ago for Diego. She is here. He is joining the navy... seal team hopeful
*I'm searching for a full time teaching job... I'm subbin but that just isn't enough.
* I'm worried that one day HE will feel like I have achieved more than he did and it will become a push point between the two of us.
*Everything is slowly becoming my fault and my problem to deal with.

I really had a decent time at family dinner. it was a powder keg that did not blow up in my face. both families at one table... it was unreal.