Black Friday

So, for the last 2 years I have wondered why I allow myself to work on Black Friday. I've come to the realization that I'm sick and tired of it. There is no damn good reason for me to even be outside that day.

I arrived at the TRU store at 820 AM and we had already been open for 10 hours. I was told stories about how the lines on Thursday night had wrapped around the building. Steeling my nerves I entered the sales floor and was immediately put on crowd control. 8 hours of directing traffic to the check out lanes. Some wet behind the ears new hire (that I swear was older than my parents) spent the better part of 20 minutes telling me how to do the job that I do for every big event at the store. I was 2 seconds away from putting the pointy end of an umbrella through his temple.

The best part of working retail on Black Friday is, of course, our wonderful customers. Being the first associate anyone saw when they entered the store left me the prime target for their questions and bitchy attitudes. This one little old couple made my day though. They had a sheet of paper with neatly cut out pics of the toys and games that their grandkids wanted. Being totally lost they grabbed my arm and asked for help. Which i gladly gave because they asked... not yelled at me to find it for them. I scurried around a few isles and came back with most of what they were looking for. They even offered me a tip. But my manager was near by so i had to say no. DANG IT.

Doppleganger

So I'm laying in bed, watching the world cup, eating breakfast in bed that the hubby made me, when Lace calls me. She throws questions at me one after another trying to figure out if i'm online. When I finally get the reasoning out of her I was pissed.

Someone in this digital sphere is stealing stuff from my family while pretending to be me. I'm about to do an entire overhaul of all of my digital fingerprints... This person is stealing ideas and stories from my little sis. Things that we have worked on forever together.

I'm not one to be all high on myself but it pisses me off that someone is pretending to be me. Now i have to do damage control to boards, story sites and all of my writers blogs... I don't know how long they have been pretending... did they hack my account... create a ghost.... or what? How did they figure out my ASL my real name and my realtionship to Lace.... errrr


Off to damage control

Easter Crisis

Its just a day... just an ordinary day....

Yeah right.

So about two months ago, i got a text from my mentor. it simply said that my church needed me... and that my singing talents were being requested for the church choir. So I caved. I joined the choir for the Easter season. Content to sit with my mentor three times a week and have some time to examine my faith without it seeming odd.

Today was Easter for those that celebrate it. My heart wasn't in today. It was trapped somewhere in an abyss... floating in a murky green-brown sludge that has ruled my current months.
So many things are changing so fast:
*HE has been given an interview for a job that will move us 2.5 hours from both families.
*We have decided to let nature take its course and stop using birth control... (we are married and pretty much financially stable)
*Jules' man left three weeks ago for Diego. She is here. He is joining the navy... seal team hopeful
*I'm searching for a full time teaching job... I'm subbin but that just isn't enough.
* I'm worried that one day HE will feel like I have achieved more than he did and it will become a push point between the two of us.
*Everything is slowly becoming my fault and my problem to deal with.

I really had a decent time at family dinner. it was a powder keg that did not blow up in my face. both families at one table... it was unreal.

There are times when I wonder when will people stop betraying each other.... Its like someone suffers a betrayal every few hours and no one does anything about it.
This is far from recent but it has been on my mind recently. I'm a twenty-something... I plan on having children one day. I would really like to have a daughter that I could pass things down to. When I met him I had been keeping a diary of thoughts, feelings and experiences from different times in my life. What better way to get through to a child than to hand them the proof that you aren't god. I started a new one when i went to college... He actually bought it for me. I recorded everything in it, the fights, triumphs, when He proposed.... It was my life. I wanted to be able to tell my kids that sometimes the good just happens.
Then we got into a fight. not a major one... but a fight none the less.... I wouldn't tell him whats wrong.... He saw me writing in my diary. Anyone and everyone knows that people that keep journals of any kind are people that either don't like confrontation or feel that they need to sort things out first. And any younger brother knows that you do NOT read a girls diary, on threat of painful death. So what does my now husband do when I leave for work the following morning.... HE READS MY DIARY.... swears it was just the last page to find out what I was mad about...

Can I trust him?
Will he do it again?
Did I join an emotional dictatorship?
Do I get to have secrets?
Can I snoop through his stuff without reprisals?
Is anything sacred to him?

He played the caring card... that he just wanted to know what was wrong so that he could fix it.


I wonder if he put the pieces together that I stopped demanding sex twice a day right after that. I'm not sure that I am in the right place to be continually physically active with a person that I cannot trust to stay out of my things.... private cherished personal things.

I have stopped using the diary since its sanctity has been desecrated. I'm just a little disappointed that he didn't have more respect for me than that.

Cryin Shame

All Hallows was a blast. Jules threw an amazing party. Not that there was any doubt in the first place. I was Hermione, with a little extra, and HE went as John McClane. Drinks were flowing... Jules decorated the whole house to look like Wonderland.

This past Friday was a horrible day. At like 1:50 in the afternoon a car carrying three seniors from GRHS crashed into a white van on a wet winding road. Even though the three were all wearing their seat belts none survived. The driver of the car they hit was Nightingale'd to the PAH ER. All your could hear this weekend on the news was how the little Volkswagon was in like three or four peices before the wrecker crew got there. I was getting phone calls from half of the teens at church just so that they could talk to someone about it. The kids weren't drunk. They were barely above the speed limit. They drifted a little over the line. This has been posted around the web for years but I want all of my friends to read it.

Its been a hard time for the kids of the VB area. Too many lives have been taken too soon.

Guh i sound like a public service announcement.

Leap of Faith

Its been one of those months. I got into a job that was just to pay the bills. My heart was so far from it that I had to force myself to get up in the morning. So I did it. I took a giant leap of faith and left a job where i was guaranteed 40 hours a week at 10 dollars an hour... For a position as a sub or guest teacher with the local schools, making 91 dollars a day but not promised anything on the number of days a week.

Da's birthday was last night... so we went to PF Changs at Town Center. Some pretty decent food. Although it was threatening to rain the entire time we drove out there.... and it did pour all night. Got Da a retractable air hose for the garage... with the directive that he get to work on the cobra.

I have accepted a challenge from FFN. Feeling pretty good about chapter one... When it gets back from Lace and I get it posted I will most def put the link up here.

Weird September

So, its like the last week of September... and man has it been an odd month. School started in August without me teaching. Got my hopes up twice with emergency fill positions... one three days before school started and one a week into school. The first one i was in great running for until the admin staff remembered that it was first year female teachers that normally do stupid things... like the one last spring that was sent to jail for running a brothel.

I've signed up to be a substitute in the local school. Isn't that just gonna be fun. It is a way for me to get some experience.... I am hoping to get at least one call a day so that I can get in the classroom at least four days a week.... They are paying 12.75 an hour or 91 dollars a day. Once my license is transferred into one that is for this state I am good to go... its worth a pay raise for subbing.... and it will help with getting a real placement.

For our 1 year anniversary HE bought me a puppy. I now have an adorable black and gray lhasa-poo named Ashes. He was a total of 6 pounds when we bought him. Last week or the week before we took him to the beach (the locals only sections where they don't mind dogs). Thinking that he was going to hate the water I brought a tie out so that if it was warm enough and HE and I took Tobbers (our five year old white lab) out to the sand bar Ashes wouldn't get into trouble. I was wrong... Ashes took to the water like a lab. He was swimming around and chasing the ball, he did try to catch a jelly fish once or twice.

Its been a month of job changes as well... I could not handle what was basically child abuse any longer. I left the Day care center.... sending a few anon messages to the license inspector (a friend of my moms). I started working at a collections agency doing litigation prep (read legal clerk for three lawyers). I don't plan on being there long. It is mostly grunt work. I don't really mind though... I slip one of my ear phones in and jam while I process incoming court notices and outgoing checks. HE doesn't like me working there... cause HE knows that i don't like talking to people over the phone that are more than likely going to be belligerent. It is different with the parents of my students... I'm not taking money from them... I'm trying to help their kid pass a subject in school.

I haven't had the time to write at all. Either my brain is racing trying to put things together or I've got so much other stuff going on that there is no time to sit in front of the computer and just type away for hours. Although I did start some major story flow edits on Major Trouble... Lace and I are trying to figure out if it is worth reposting or not.